1.21.26

Starting the spring semester off with a bang with some unexpected views of the Aurora borealis (Northern lights) between Monday and Tuesday evening – what a show! The beauty of nature has kept me grounded and reminds me to stop and smell the roses and enjoy the little things along the way.

2026 is supposed to be a big year as I begin drafting my dissertation, prepping for the job market, and doing all of the things that one is “supposed to do” at this stage in the PhD program. I was reflecting upon the fact that it’s already been nearly 5 years since I moved to Albany in the middle of the pandemic, and while in some ways, it feels like little has changed, I can certainly feel myself getting older and gaining experience. My 20-year-old self could never have dreamed about being where I am today; that’s for another day, but finding my people and true love of academia–including the good, the bad, and the ugly–has helped motivate me along this journey.

Of course, there are always things that I could be doing better and often aspire to do differently, but I’ve realized that success doesn’t always roar, and I’m working on celebrating the little wins along the way this year. First up: getting to know my wonderful students in ASOC 310 – Social Research Methods, and becoming more efficient in my teaching prep (this will be my third time teaching this course within the past year) so that I can funnel more energy into the dissertation and networking/job market prep.

I’m also hoping to write more here and overhaul this site, so stay tuned!

–AZP

8.20.25

Happy Fall 2025! Can’t believe I’m already finished with my first year of teaching. I had a very successful spring course of ASOC 310 (Social Research Methods), and my students were phenomenal – the energy and enthusiasm in that class is unlikely to be matched for several years.

While I am sad to say goodbye to that course, I am really excited to be teaching another course that I am passionate about: ASOC 299, Sociology of Sport. This is an elective course for which I have spent months meticulously crafting the syllabus, and although it is currently low enrollment, I think it will ultimately be a great semester with lots of discussion, fingers crossed! I think back fondly to my time in undergrad, which seems like so long ago now, and I remember a few professors in particular who really pushed me to open my eyes and think critically about the world. To this day, I know when a class has been good if I leave after the hour and a half feeling wiped and thinking, “What on earth did we just talk about?”

As I settled into the 5th year, I am also well-aware that my timer is ticking, and I’d like to finish my dissertation sooner rather than later… hopefully I will defend my proposal within the next 2 months! Optimistically, I know that I’ve done well, especially coming straight from undergrad, to keep up and make it this far, but I must finish strong. As much as I have hated living in Albany itself, it is now comfortable and familiar to me, and the next two years are going to be all about pushing myself outside of my comfort zone as I navigate the job market.

Here’s to another year of smooth sailing and feeling like I’ve made some progress!

-AP

12.10.24

While grades aren’t *technically* due until next Thursday, December 19th, our last lecture was last Thursday, and students have a final reflection paper due on Friday. This semester has been filled with trials and tribulations of being a new instructor, and despite the challenges, I walk away from the semester with my head held high and a renewed passion for teaching. I had an inkling that I would feel this way when teaching, but gaining this experience has reaffirmed my commitment to academia and where I see myself headed.

Despite what I would consider a relative success (only one student out of 109 in jeopardy of failing), I do find myself wishing for deeper relationships with my students. Hopefully, I will get the chance to know them next semester on a more personal level: Social Research Methods is going to be capped at 25 students, which is a stark difference from classes over 100+ people.

Anyways, as the traditional semester is 15 weeks long, here are the 15 most important things that I learned this semester:

1. It takes time to create homework and in-class assignments
2. It takes so much time to write good exam questions
3. Grading is the bane of my existence
4. There is a fine line between being a hardass and being a pushover
5. Knowing everyone’s name is really hard in a class over more than 50 people
6. Most students have little exposure to “academic” reading and writing
7. While I love creating lectures, I need to stop being a perfectionist and just be one step ahead
8. There are a select few students who warm your heart and inspire you with their kindness, curiosity, and intellect
9. You’re not supposed to be students’ friends
10. Students will beg and invent all sorts of excuses to make up work
11. What’s extra credit? Most students expect that all classes will offer makeup opportunities
12. Office hours are a great way to forcibly divide up your time into research and teaching
13. There will always be students who are knowingly disrespectful and disruptive; it’s not your fault
14. Teaching non-traditional, older students is awesome because you can have a proper conversation about “real world” things that the 18-something year-olds have limited exposure to
15. Just like camp, you can’t try to please everyone

8.28.24

Well, I guess it’s about time for the annual blog post on here. The past year has been extraordinarily quiet in many regards, but nevertheless, I reached some important milestones: I completed my second comprehensive exam (with the distinction of “High Pass” that I didn’t know existed…), co-taught with a professor, and prepped for my own class. I also went through the publication process for the first time, and am excited to share that my manuscript has been accepted for publication, hopefully forthcoming at the end of 2024.

On another note, I am finally starting to feel like a “real adult.” It doesn’t matter what anyone says, your 20s are a trying time and we’re all finding our own ways; I have grown so much over the past few years, and turning 25 was a welcome change. Young enough to keep up and still feel “socially relevant,” yet old enough to trust my gut and decision-making. While I’ve loved learning and have never doubted for a second that pursuing graduate school was the right decision, in hindsight, I would have waited a few years, perhaps starting the PhD program right about now. Starting the PhD early has made me feel “rooted” to this commitment until I finish, which will have wiped out most of my 20s. However, it is also freeing to know that I will have the rest of my life ahead of me, should I want to settle down, have a family, travel, etc.

As for what this year holds for me, teaching is the biggest elephant in the room. It’s certainly daunting walking in a room of 100 students and trying to establish authority and build rapport at the same time. On the plus side, I’m teaching about my favorite subject: sociology of gender, so that gives me hope. I don’t know if it’s my last year in Albany or not, but I hope to finish hiking the ADKs, do a ton of fishing, skiing, and camping, and gear up for the dissertation.

Above: Summit of Rocky Ridge Mt, Adirondacks

9.13.23

It’s that time of year again, another semester starting back up. Hard to believe this is already my 3rd year of the PhD program, and I’ll soon be done with classes and receiving a class of my own to teach. I was inspired to write an academic life update in part because I am taking a Publishing 101 class this semester, which is my motivation for finishing a project on trans athletes that I started last year. Anyways, this semester is nothing remarkable, although I am co-teaching and did my first lecture a couple weeks ago on gender categories, and I am also taking a class outside of the department for the first time! It’s a Spanish class called Language & Ideology, and I find it fascinating; I only wish I had planned better and did not take it after a 3hr class…

I think I have all but settled into a good routine, and it is both good and bad that my classes this semester are from 9:00-1:20 on Tues-Thurs: I focus much better and learn more, but it takes away my own self-directed reading and writing time. I have been pushing myself to get stuff done on Mon & Weds, and next semester I will have more spare time as I take reading credits. I should also be done the Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies MA degree, for which I have already completed the core requirements, I am just short credits as I am a dual PhD student. Interest-wise, I have made a big switch and am no longer interested in studying trans athletes as my primary project; frankly, it is quite exhausting, and I would like to leave that chapter behind me. However, as I’ve moved my way up the ranks of summer camp and made my way into professional development, I am all but set on studying summer camps for the dissertation. This semester I am taking a class on children & youth, so I should hopefully have a more concrete plan on what I would like to do for a project by the end of it.

Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to have fun years in your 20s, full of freedom, traveling, and working hard to pocket money for important life investments like a house, but then I remind myself that I am hoping to be done at age 27, and have the rest of my life ahead of me. For now, I am content with getting the heck out of Albany every single weekend, and making the most of the great outdoors.

-AZP

10.14.22

Wow. Hard to believe that the semester is already halfway over. They say that time goes by faster as you get older, but it’s really been flying this semester. Not sure if it’s because I’m particularly busy, but the days seem long and the weeks seem short. This semester has turned out to be quite busy as I juggle three courses, being a TA for two classes, an RA for another professor, prepare for a conference presentation in November, and start my own data collection. I’ve also got into dog sitting, which has turned into the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me 🙂 upon getting back to school, I was insistent that I needed to get my own dog now, and of course my mother was able to convince me that was an extremely poor idea… dog sitting has turned into being the best of both worlds, getting to hang out with a bunch of doggos while getting paid and turning the money into investments for my future dog.

What has gone well: Multivariate analysis, a quantitative research methods course, has been much better than expected. I thought it was going to be a bunch of higher-level stats, but the professor basically picked up where we left off after intermediate stats and hasn’t gone much further, instead choosing to elaborate on data collection, how to identify a “good study” and cleaning our own data. Feminist theory and qualitative methods have given me good background and useful readings that help me incorporate new ideas into my own projects. Also, I got IRB approval over the summer and have started my own interviews!

What I’m struggling with: I’m very forward-thinking, which can be good because it means I never turn in assignments late, but it also means that I unnecessarily throw myself into frets about attending “enough” conferences, publishing early, and future summer plans. Still struggling to make time for myself and work on the work-life balance. I’ve been going camping every weekend, which will soon turn to skiing once winter hits. Yet outside of these hours, I find that I have an internal clock that continuously beats myself up for not being “productive” enough, whether it be after I take an hour to eat lunch or work out. Sometimes I look back at the day and am like “Wtf did I do all day??” I know I need to learn to be more gentle on myself, because this criticism is not warranted, nor is it sustainable – it’s an easy way to burn out.

Questions: do I go back to summer camp this summer? Are there other ‘interesting’ research projects for me to work on? How do I budget better to allow for more fun and leisure activities?

-AZP

8.24.22

As I sit here typing this, I remark on everything that I’ve done this past year: taken six classes, served as a Graduate Assistant for four different professors, attended and presented at 2 conferences, maintained a respectable GPA, attended summer camp, and most of all, found a sense of belonging in academia.

Coming back to school this year was tough, mostly because I spent the summer back home in Maine, as a Unit Leader at my childhood summer camp. This was a decision that I made back in November, and I’m glad I did; being able to “turn off” my brain for 2 months was the best thing I could’ve done after my first year of grad school. Now, it’s right back into the fire. I have a conference coming up in November, as well as other fellowship and scholarship opportunities that occur in the fall. I know I’ll be busy, so I’m both excited and nervous for this year, although much less anxious about it than last year at this time.

One of my goals this year is to not only be more physically active, but also spend my days doing more meaningful work, even if that doesn’t look like traditional “productivity.” For so long I’ve internalized what “being productive” looks like, and I’ve come to realize that it makes much more sense to work smartly rather than longer. In a perfect world, this means that I will take more time to myself; go on long backpacking trips, workout almost every day, listen to music, and be better about setting boundaries. Constantly answering emails at 11:30 won’t do me any good in the long run – which reminds me, to delete my work/school email off my phone now that school is back in session!

Anyhow, those are some of my goals this year, and I hope to start off the semester strong!

-AZP

And just like that, my work has hit a standstill. All of the blood, sweat and tears that I’ve cried in advocating for transgender athletes has vanished in the matter of days.

The NCAA announced several days ago that they have changed their transgender inclusion policy, what critics argue is largely in response to the “threat” of transgender swimmer Lia Thomas. Previously, their guidelines were quite binary in nature and specified eligibility for transgender athletes assigned male at birth (trans women), as well as those assigned female at birth (trans men). However, their new guidelines, which they argue “follow the IOC’s [International Olympic Committee] 2021 updated guidelines,” do just the opposite. Despite getting rid of specific rules about surgeries and hormones, the NCAA says it is now up to individual governing bodies to determine which transgender athletes are eligible to compete. For Lia Thomas, USA Swimming is the governing body of NCAA swimmers, and require athletes to submit hormone levels several times throughout the year and maintain testosterone levels under 10 nmol/L. Essentially, despite previously competing and being in full compliance with the NCAA regulations, now she can be barred from sport at any time.

In addition to the case of Lia Thomas, what I take the most issue with is that the NCAA caved; they had long since been seen as becoming more inclusive of trans athletes, only to take many steps backward with this move. Additionally, they are absolving themselves of responsibility for determining eligibility, which makes everything even more complicated. Without having set guidelines, whether they are sport-specific or not, the NCAA has essentially thrown in the towel. As the largest governing body for collegiate sport, they have a responsibility to protect all of their athletes and encourage participation, and with this new policy, they are doing just the opposite. I imagine that this new policy is going to make “compliance” a nightmare to track.

I can’t even begin to describe how upset I am at this. Sure, there are issues of fairness, but what even is fair? Michael Phelps isn’t barred from competition because of his unique lack of lactic acid production; he’s considered “genetically gifted.” It’s also not like hormones immediately give people superhuman strength. It still takes years and years of training to be good at sport, and this is something that opponents of transgender inclusion often overlook.

But what saddens me the most is that college sports don’t exist in a vacuum. Many high schoolers aspire to compete in the NCAA one day. And for people like my 8-year-old transgender cousin, seeing that people like Lia Thomas are not welcome in sport can be absolutely devastating.

I’m not saying that there’s any easy solution here. But it’s clear that this “updated” policy was created out of haste, not out of “sound medical knowledge and scientific validity,” as the NCAA previously claimed.

Transgender people belong in sport. And most of us don’t want to compete as “other” for the sake of fairness, we just want to play.

1.16.22

And just like that, there is only one week left of winter break (technically we were supposed to return to campus this week, but that was pushed back due to covid).

I’ve managed to keep busy this break, accomplishing almost all that I wanted to academically in terms of organizing myself, applying to scholarships, revisiting some old papers and readings, and starting to prepare for comps.

While I’ve had fun relaxing, exploring the outdoors, and seeing old family and friends, one major question that has been nagging at me since I’ve been home working at my restaurant job is: what’s the point? I often find myself caught between loving what I do and then immediately thinking about dropping out of school (rest assured that this is normal for many students and grad students alike), but it’s bigger than “I can’t do this.” It’s more about the fact that I find myself bridged between two worlds: one with many of my high school friends and state, some of whom did not go to college and many of whom remained in the small state of Maine; and the larger world of academia.

Ultimately, I feel compelled to answer the call of academia, but I also think about how it could be nice settling down for a bit and having some money to travel, explore the world, and live carefree. As grad students, we find ourselves strapped for cash, tethered to one region of the world, and often unable to pursue our hobbies outside of academia. This is something that I will continue to wrestle with and think about as I ponder my life’s purpose and true meaning.

11.28.21

Can’t believe that it’s the last week of classes already! Seems like just a week or two ago this semester was starting. This week is our last full week of classes, we have one more Monday class next week on 12/6, and then finals begin Weds 12/8. Finals season is always quite hectic, although this year it feels different. With only 3 classes but more added responsibility (grading, TA work, proctoring, etc.), trying to figure out what is due when is still overwhelming but for different reasons. All in all, I have a major paper due for each of my courses, one exam, one presentation, and a couple other small responsibilities here and there.

I like to keep busy, so I am grateful that I have already secured a winter job back at a restaurant at home. It will keep me busy, be a nice change of pace from reading, ensure that my family doesn’t drive me crazy, and be a little extra pocket money (you know, because GAs get paid so well…). I have also locked down my summer plans – I will be returning to summer camp next year as Unit Head! I weighed the pros and cons of trying to find an internship or working at a local restaurant while bumming around at home, but that’ll be my summer job in 2 years when I’m studying for comp exams. Until then, I look forward to continuing to be a kid for as long as possible, and giving back to the community that has given so much to me and made me the person I am today.

Grad school’s been a wild ride thus far, and it seems that I have existential crises almost every week. Nonetheless, I have learned a lot about myself this semester, and I look forward to continuing to deepen my own knowledge and become a better person.