1.16.22
And just like that, there is only one week left of winter break (technically we were supposed to return to campus this week, but that was pushed back due to covid).
I’ve managed to keep busy this break, accomplishing almost all that I wanted to academically in terms of organizing myself, applying to scholarships, revisiting some old papers and readings, and starting to prepare for comps.
While I’ve had fun relaxing, exploring the outdoors, and seeing old family and friends, one major question that has been nagging at me since I’ve been home working at my restaurant job is: what’s the point? I often find myself caught between loving what I do and then immediately thinking about dropping out of school (rest assured that this is normal for many students and grad students alike), but it’s bigger than “I can’t do this.” It’s more about the fact that I find myself bridged between two worlds: one with many of my high school friends and state, some of whom did not go to college and many of whom remained in the small state of Maine; and the larger world of academia.
Ultimately, I feel compelled to answer the call of academia, but I also think about how it could be nice settling down for a bit and having some money to travel, explore the world, and live carefree. As grad students, we find ourselves strapped for cash, tethered to one region of the world, and often unable to pursue our hobbies outside of academia. This is something that I will continue to wrestle with and think about as I ponder my life’s purpose and true meaning.
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